A BritMex Veganuary Fast Food Tour

Another year, another Veganuary—a carnivore’s annual chance to take a culture tour through veganism. It’s also a chance for fast food and fast casual chains to try out new vegan menu items. Since 2022, Night Water has been on the front lines of taste testing vegan fast food. I’ve tried it all, from the most disgusting “fried chicken” imaginable to VC-funded pizzerias to crunchless Crunchwraps, finally culminating in my dramatic decision to move to the United Kingdom solely for vegan Nando’s and Greggs sausage rolls.

But I’ve yet to try the cuisine that London is most famous for: Mexican food. With Britain’s long history of cultural exchange with and colonization of what is now modern Mexico, and today’s immigration patterns, London has become the global capital of Mexican food.

Nah, I’m just taking the piss—Mexican food is so far down the list of international delicacies here that it barely registers. Add the vegan twist and you make finding decent Mexican food in the UK an existential crisis. My own search was so full of trials and tribulations that a trip to Chipotle felt like a soothing balm.

For the sake of satiating my burning burrito desire—and of course, to create refreshing Night Water content for you fine people—I dedicated this year’s Veganuary fast food tour to finding a tasty vegan burrito here in London. Would any of these options convince a January vegan to go full time? Or will I be forced to become the next white expat to start a Mexican food chain? Join me on my fool’s errand to find out.

Tortilla

My first stop was Tortilla, a Chipotle-esque chain that previously provided me with one of the worst burritos I’d ever tasted in my life. Bless them—you can get a veggie burrito there year-round, but it’s as bland as cardboard and the texture isn’t far off.

I figured I’d give them a second chance this month as they've partnered with Beyond Meat on a few Beyond Steak menu items. I tried the Beyond Steak Chimichurri Burrito, which pairs the faux beef with Mexican rice, pinto beans, guacamole, sweetcorn, jalapeños, pickled red onions, crushed tortilla chips, and vegan chimichurri mayo.

Despite my clear and obvious bias against Tortilla, I actually thought that the Beyond Steak Chimichurri Burrito was pretty good. Not great, not fantastic. Decent. Passable. Completely fine.

Beyond Steak is a known quantity, of course, and I personally think it’s got a great texture. With all things Beyond, it’s everything around the faux meat that makes or breaks the meal. Unfortunately for Tortilla, all of that didn’t blow me away. It was tasty, especially the chimichurri mayo, but my overall impression was of exceeding dryness. Maybe it was the ratio of rice to other ingredients, maybe there wasn’t enough mayo, maybe they should’ve added a salsa in there. Regardless, I wouldn’t rush back for a second taste.

I also wouldn’t rush back to the Spitalfields location, which I made the mistake of choosing for this review. Right by an office park, it’s clearly designed for the London salaryman and not newsletter writers like me, as there was no indoor seating. I sat outside, in the cold, at what I can only describe as a sort of picnic bench.

Clearly designed with solo office workers in mind, this half a picnic table is just a bit sad, really. Starmer, you can quit spending hundreds of millions of pounds trying to find the cause of the UK’s loneliness epidemic, because I think I’ve figured it out: an outbreak of isolating urban design.

Club Mexicana

If you’re looking for a burrito oozing with millennial energy, look no further than Club Mexicana. As their website states, their menu is “100% vegan, 100% bangin’.” As the proprietor of a newsletter called Night Water promising refreshing 3 a.m. content and late night vibes, I can hardly judge.

My wife and I traveled to Club Mexicana’s Shoreditch location—a proper restaurant with a great atmosphere, as opposed to their other two locations, which are in crowded food halls where the vibes suffer. No matter where you go, you get the same street-food inspired menu.

In stark contrast to Tortilla, everything I’ve ever tasted from Club Mexicana has been good and tasty—nothing bland or textureless here. But with some of their menu choices, I feel Club Mexicana is trying too hard to be inventive rather than delivering on a baseline product. For example, none of their three burritos come with beans—it’s a £2 extra charge. Club Mexicana founder Meriel Armitage has described the cuisine as “inauthentic Mexican,” taking influence from “the UK, the US, and beyond.” I would love to know which country influenced her to charge £2 for beans.

You can definitely see the American influence in the burritos. There’s the Buffalo Chick’n, slathered in hot sauce and ranch dressing, and the Cheezeburger (of “I can has?” fame), which includes an undefined “burger sauce” in the list of ingredients.

I went for the BBQ Short Rib burrito, which wraps their faux ribs in a tortilla with rice, lettuce, pico de gallo, pink onions, pickled cabbage, garlic mayo, salsa verde, pickled jalapeños, my optional £2 beans, and drowns it all in BBQ sauce. Unsurprisingly, the overwhelming flavor was BBQ sauce. But other flavors did shine through occasionally, and the overall texture was spot on—the faux ribs in particular were very impressive.

My wife ordered a Black Bean and Queso Fresco quesadilla—probably the closest thing on the menu to replicating standard Mexican cuisine, minus the fake cheese. She reported back that it was good and satisfying—especially the salsa on the side—but it didn’t blow her away.

That’s generally how I would categorize Club Mexicana. It’s always good, I’m always glad I ate it. But I don’t crave it, and I wouldn’t go out of my way to get it. And that’s coming from someone who has often gone out of his way for a fantastic burrito.

Wahaca

You know how people study abroad in college and make it their entire personalities? That’s kind of what happened to Thomasina Miers, who spent a year living in Mexico City, and, upon her return to the UK, won the first series of the revived Masterchef in 2005 with the help of Mexican-inspired recipes. She quickly capitalized on that success, founding Wahaca with business partner Mark Selby in 2006.

Yes, Wahaca—a phonetic spelling of the Mexican state of Oaxaca.

I popped down to Wahaca’s Shoreditch location, which was less of a restaurant and more of a ghost kitchen with seating. There was a constant stream of UberEats and Deliveroo bikers in and out of the front door, ready to become private taxis for Londoner’s burritos.

Luckily, the food is better than the nonexistent vibes, with expansive vegetarian and vegan options. I ordered their Ancho Mushroom burrito, which is vegetarian by default but can be made vegan. The standard recipe combines ancho mushrooms with smoky caramelized garlic mojo de ajo, rice, cheese, salsas, slaw, and black beans (at no extra cost, of course).

I’m a massive fan of mushrooms in general, and while I’m not against the ultra-processed soy fakery on occasion, I think mushrooms are a way tastier—and all natural—meat alternative. I’d much rather have a well-cooked mushroom than, say, have my mouth drenched in BBQ sauce to try to convince me I’m eating meat.

Here’s the weirdest thing about the burrito: it was presented with guacamole on top. What exactly am I supposed to do with that? I wanted to eat the burrito with my bare hands as the Lord intended, so I ended up just pushing the guac out of the way with my knife, leaving an avocado-y residue behind. If this Wahaca’s idea of a wet burrito, I want no part in it.

I was also hoping to try the Beet Tartare Tostados, a Veganuary special, but this location was all out. I settled for another limited time special, the Mushroom Carnitas Tostados, which tops a tortilla with a King Oyster and chestnut mushroom-based carnitas, frijoles, and a cashew nut and herb mole. I was expecting them to come out before the burrito, but they didn’t arrive until I was over halfway done, and by that time I regretted ordering them. That’s a shame, because the mushroom carnitas was inventive and tasty, and totally different texturally than the mushrooms in my burrito—it was just too much of a good thing.

Final thoughts

Unsurprisingly, none of these BritMex fast food slash fast casual chains really scratched my itch for a world-shaking burrito, but nothing was so bad that it made me question why I moved to the UK in the first place. While I’ll probably avoid Tortilla at all costs once their Veganuary special ends, I wouldn’t be mad to find myself at either Club Mexicana or Wahaca in the future. If you’re a non-vegan looking to cut back on your meat consumption year-round, you can’t go wrong with either menu.

To my international readers wondering if they should prioritize Mexican cuisine on their next trip to London: will a simple “no” suffice?